Fancy Foodie Takes On The World

animalstalkinginallcaps:

SORRY I COULDN’T BRAID YOUR HAIR, EMILY. NO OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

It’s okay, I like talking to you more than I like playing salon. You’re really smart, plus you ate Cindy Meyers for me.

SHE ASKED JIMMY TO THE DANCE WHEN SHE KNEW YOU LIKED HIM. I DID WHAT ANY FRIEND WOULD DO.

She was a total B-I-T-C-H.

THAT SPELLS BITCH! 

I know. I’m really good at spelling. So is Jimmy. 

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE SO HAPPY TOGETHER.

We are now that Cindy Meyers is gone.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HEY, WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU’D LIKE TO-

JOIN OUR GANG OR DIE.

JUST BE IN OUR GANG, ACTUALLY. WE NEED-

TOUGH-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS WILLING TO POP OFF AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE.

SOMEONE TO WEAR THE GREEN HOODIE, IS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. IT’S NOT LIKE, FOREST GREEN, OBVI. WE’RE MORE OF A BRIGHT PASTEL-

BUNCH OF HARDCORE GANGSTERS DOING HARDCORE GANGSTER SHIT.

WE MOSTLY JUST GET PINKBERRY AND THEN HANG OUT IN THE PARK. 

WORD. THE SCULPTURE GARDEN DOWN BY THE RIVER IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE FALL. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT NICE-ASS SUNLIGHT ALL REFLECTING OFF THE WATER AND SHIT.

TODD’S TRYING TO TOUGHEN UP OUR IMAGE. HE THINKS WE’RE A LITTLE ‘SOFT’.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

A NICE CHARTREUSE GREEN WOULD GO GREAT WITH YOUR HAIR.

HONESTLY, IT REALLY WOULD.

kylesbogusjourney:

A christian and an atheist walk into a bar. They procede to have a few drinks and enjoy each other’s company because they’re not pretentious assholes.

(via tinydancr)

(via classroomcollective)

(Source: heygirlteacher)

(Source: seafaringgypsy)

kateoplis:

think-progress: via OECD

(Source: , via tinydancr)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

COME BACK HERE. WHY YOU BREAK MY HEART INTO PIECES?

WHERE YOU GO? OUT WITH BOY?

WHAT YOU DO? WHEN YOU COME HOME?

… GO THEN. PUT SALT INTO THE FIELDS OF MY LOVE FOR YOU.

Why do people move to Tucson, complain about Tucson, then get on their high horse about how people complain about Tucson?

You’re from Phoenix/California/Someplace and went to likely only went to school here. You probably don’t plan on staying here and working here and living in this community beyond your 4/5 year stint. You don’t really work here. You haven’t lived here for any real length of time, and it is likely that rarely left the UA area.

So, don’t talk shit about how you hate Tucson and then talk shit about people who commute into town from the NW side or Sahuarita. Don’t rail on people who have legitimate complaints about issues within the city. You’re either a real Tucsonan or not. And you’re sure as hell not one if you call yourself a T-loc. So, ladies and gents, don’t come into my community, pretend you’re a part of it when you intend to peace out ASAP, and then bitch and moan because people like outside of the city limits and have thoughts and ideas on what happens in our community. Tucson is more than its city limits. But, if you’re from LA or Phoenix you’re likely oblivious to that fact, eh?

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HELLO, I AM A HIP YOUNG DUDE LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME. I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD BUY $20 WORTH OF DRUGS, PLEASE. THE GOOD ONES.

… WHAT? NO, I’M NOT A POLICE OFFICER. I LIKE CIGARETTES AND MAROON 5 AND THINGS LIKE THAT. EDGY STUFF THAT DRUG PEOPLE ARE INTO. BECAUSE I DO SO MANY DRUGS ALL THE TIME.